On having friends

I've always said it - that I take my friends for granted - and I always thought I meant it too. I probably did mean it but, I never fully understood what this meant until very recently.

When I wake up in the morning, it is usually from a dream co-staring my friends. Getting dressed, I pick out outfits from a closet full of gifts, shirts my brothers bought and necklaces my friends made. I pick up a friend or two on my way to school and park in a lot among familiar cars. In class, not only do people acknowledge me, but they tend to do so in a positive manor - complements not insults, smiles not indifference. I receive high fives and hugs and "hey how you doing?"s in the hallway, even when I am walking alone. At lunch, I usually have a place to sit and always have a person to talk to. I have never eaten lunch in the bathroom or in fear of being noticed. If I am struggling in a class, either a friend or a teacher will offer to help me out and, if I am succeeding, I usually receive some form of recognition. After school, I go to track practice or advocate production or student council meetings, all full of people who are recognize my presence. I do not fall asleep at night without at least one friendly text message or lengthy phone call.

Needless to say, I have contact with other individuals. More than that, many of these individuals may be considered friends and, of them, I hope at least a few enjoy my company. I have people in my life.

But, this is not always the case. More so than I had previously recognized, there are a lot of people who have nobody. There are girls who eat lunch in the library, boys who opt for the nurse over gym class, people who go through the day alone. And, rather than make an effort to change this, I have been so wrapped up in the people I already know.

Because my friends are such genuine and altruistic people, I often think about who else they could touch without my presence. If I ate my lunch in the library, there would be one more spot for someone new. If I stopped saying "hello" to them in passing periods, they could save their breath for someone better.

I do not mean to sound like leaving my friends would be an easy thing to do. It wouldn't. As mentioned plenty of times in past posts, my friends are amazing and I live in constant awe of their greatness. So, I know how warm friendship feels. It is a feeling that everyone deserves to feel and to feel often. This is especially true because I know most people deserve the friends I have more than I do.

I guess what I am trying (and failing) to say is that I am really lucky to know people and even luckier to call them my friends. I wish everyone could feel as loved and acknowledged as I do and would, in a heartbeat, sacrifice my social lifestyle to give someone else a chance.




Sorry this post lacks any rhetorical merit. This is an unedited blog so y'all will have to deal. Yo.