How to carve a pumpkin

Think about it all day. Tell a bunch of people who shouldn't care. Leave tenth period running. Get to your car. Beat all the traffic. Ignore the people waving at you. Drive.

Get to Jewel. Walk around. See no pumpkins. Feel concerned. Remember that pumpkins are usually kept outside. Look foolish walking past the cash registrar empty handed. Check outside. Notice the parking cars. Notice the smoking employees. Notice the talking teens. Notice no pumpkins. Return inside, foolishly. Ask Costumer Service for a pumpkin. Hear that there are no more pumpkins. Drop jaw. Leave store. See friend buying ice cream. Realize you need ice cream too.

Drive to Daily Scoop. Look at ice cream flavors. Chat with chuck. Buy a single scoop of pumpkin ice cream. Answer, no, you have not yet carved a pumpkin. Realize that you probably will not. Pay. Leave.

Get back in car. Drive to Prospect Park. Climb to top of hill. Eat pumpkin ice cream. Wish you had a real pumpkin. Weep. Lay on hill for a while. Feel stupid. Realize you are probably too old for pumpkin carving. Call mom to tell her, anyway. Finish ice cream. Go home.

Drive to Oakbrook. Touter girl. Notice the jack-o-lanterns in her window. Count she has two. Remember you have none. Think about asking for one. Shake it off and quiz her on Vocab. Drive home.

Open garage door. Notice mom is missing. Call her. Hear that she is in Lombard. Ask why. Realize she is buying you a pumpkin. Realize you have the greatest mother in the world. Feel too excited to get homework done. Wait for her to get home.

Help carry pumpkin inside. Wash it off. Lay newspapers on table. Think about reading them first. Decide not to. Ask mom to cut off the top off the stem. Grimace as the knife gets very close to her hand. Open pumpkin. Smell memories.

Notice it is quieter than you remember. Grab two huge bowls. Place gunk in the larger one. Weave through to find seeds. Stick them in the smaller one. Get hands messy. Talk about things that are also messy, her friends divorce, your friends sickness. Wash hands. Look at the bowl with seeds. Note that there are fewer seeds than you remember there usually being. Realize that usually there are more pumpkins. Recognize that there are usually more people to eat them too. Wish there were more people this year too.

Let mom handle making the pumpkin seeds, she is good at that. Realize that you will have to be the one good at that someday. Be thankful that you still have time. Carefully plan out the face. Draw two triangles and a square. Ask for help with the mouth. Watch mom start to carve the triangles. Ask to give it a shot. Do a sloppy job. Act embarrassed when mom tries to take pictures. Smile anyway. Smile bigger when you see her send them to grandma.

Finish carving eyes and nose. Dislike your work. Ask mom to carve the mouth. Admire her precision in carving teeth. Laugh when half of teeth fall out in trying to extract excess gunk. Remember that this used to always happen. Remember you used to always laugh.

Want to show your pumpkin off. Carry it into the front room. Make room by the window. Suggest you name the pumpkin. Get distracted in looking for a candle. Find a candle under the kitchen sink. Place it inside of pumpkin. Jokingly sing Chanukah song as mom lights the candles. Note her cross necklace. Stop singing. Realize she is still humming along. Never name the pumpkin.

Listen to her question, are you happy with it? Smile. Nod your head. You will be.